The last thing that anyone working in an organization wants to be is a pain in the ass to work with.  It just makes life harder - people don’t want to work with you, are less open to ideas when you propose them and don’t take it seriously when you raise objections. Think you might be suffering from office “pain in the ass syndrome”?  Here are some things to consider:


Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff:  Nit-picking gets you nowhere. A lot of times the small things we obsess over don’t make a difference in the real world.  Before you speak (or email!), sit back and ask if it’s really worth the time to discuss this issue.  What is there to gain?  How much difference will it REALLY make?  If you can’t honestly say that there will be a significant benefit based on this one, tiny factor, then just let it go.

Do Pick Your Battles: There are times when you ask yourself the questions above and decide that its a situation worth pursuing.  Your voice will be much stronger in those situations if you haven’t nit-picked in the past.  Think about it - if you speak up all the time over every minor detail, people will tune you out after a while, but if you wait to speak up until it really matters, your co-workers will give your objection much stronger consideration.  You won’t be viewed as being difficult, but rather as concerned for the success of the project.


Don’t be Rigid: There is usually more than one right answer to a question. This is particularly true for the web, since it’s still a relatively new (and constantly changing) medium.  If something is even remotely subjective, don’t make a pronunciation that there is “one right way”.  People will instantly second guess you (and they’d be right to do so!) and your credibility will be tarnished.

Do Offer Options: If people ask you for tactical advice on the subject, give them two or three options to consider.  It’s OK to say that you would endorse one option over the others, but you’ll gain greater buy-in by letting them consider and pick an option. Better yet, recommend doing a test to gather information about which is the best method for your audience.


Don’t Overreact: Things aren’t always going to go your way.  If a decision gets made that you don’t agree with, just play it cool.  Don’t shoot death glances across the table or sigh loudly - just be calm about it, go back to your office and consider whether the situation really merits followup and additional discussion.  If you’re really pissed, take a walk around the building or go in your office and shut the door - just don’t have a meltdown in front of people.  It gets you nowhere.

Do Listen and Consider: If other people have thoughts and suggestions that you don’t agree with, no matter now much more of an expert you are on the subject you’re discussing, take a minute and consider them before speaking.  Or PRETEND to consider them.  Look thoughtfully off into the distance and furrow your brow.  That way, when you do say something, you won’t look as though you’re being reactionary and defensive.


The irony of all this, of course, is that people who are pains in the ass to work with probably have no idea they are perceived that way.  And their intentions are usually good, but good intentions don’t make it any less annoying.  You’re going to be better off if your co-workers want to work with you, rather than if they are always planning  your demise. 

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