You didn’t think I’d stay away forever, right?

There have been so many twitter/speaking controversies lately, and I wanted to add my perspective.

Last week it was the two Chronicle stories (here and here) rehashing the #heweb09 keynote. This morning I read Danah Boyd’s rant in her blog about the debacle at Web 2.0 Expo.

I fail to see why anyone is surprised when a speaker gives a sub-par talk and this happens. Do I feel for what these speakers go through on a human level? Of course. No one is secure enough to be able to brush off what happened to #notjared and Danah Boyd. But am I surprised that it happened? Not remotely. And they shouldn’t be either, especially since they are speaking at technology conferences.

When you put yourself out there publicly, you have to expect that some people are not going to like what you have to say, or are going to say stupid things about you. You will never please everyone and it is useless to try. People are going to say stuff about you on Twitter. I’ve been called a bitch more times than I care to remember (though never to my face, of course). I’ve had snide/snarky remarks made about me and, yes, it stings. But savvy audiences have high expectations. The time has passed when the audience goes into a talk under the assumption that the speaker is more educated in a topic than they are. Oftentimes, the audience is just as knowledgeable so if you don’t get up there and know your stuff, you are going to be in trouble.


But it’s not all about knowing your stuff. It’s also about how you approach the talk.

I do disagree with Danah Boyd’s blog on a few key points, but specifically the one where she suggested a “pop-y” talk to engage the audience. It’s not necessarily about the subject matter you’re speaking about - it’s about how you approach the audience. A few weeks ago at the AMA Symposium, I gave one of the most boring talks on the planet - one on calculating ROI. There were lots of numbers and math, and yes I used bullet points in my slides. But the audience was engaged. They drove a lot of the talk. I had an exceptionally boring subject that resulted in a great audience experience (or so they told me) because I made sure to frame it for them. I practiced beforehand. I didn’t need to print out my notes and bring them with me. I didn’t have anything on stage to read off of. This allowed me to focus on the audience and respond to their needs during the talk.

Speaking is about helping the audience. It’s not about you as the speaker.

I would never reprimand the audience for what they say on Twitter during any talk that I give. If they aren’t getting what they need or expect from my talk, then I EXPECT them to react on Twitter. I’ve never been nailed to the wall like some people, but I don’t rule it out as a possibility. Instead, I plan my talks with that expectation - even if Twitter isn’t being shown on a screen behind me, I still know that people have phones and laptops.


My opinion on all of these situations is quite simple: If you can’t stand the heat, then get out of the kitchen. The possibility of being nailed to the wall doesn’t scare me away. It motivates me.

And the things happening on Twitter are not going to go away, not matter how many articles and blog posts are written that reprimand the audience. Twitter will only exaggerate  things - you’ll get awesome feedback on it when you do well but you have to expect it to be bad when you do badly.

Like Danah Boyd, I get nervous before every talk (though not to the point of throwing up). Speaking is not something that I do well naturally, and I’ve put a lot of work into it. Some talks go better than others. I’m always my own worst critic, so after most talks, I think I sucked even if other people tell me its good (#heweb09 was a good example of that). Every once in a while I get into a zone while speaking, where I really feel like I nailed it. I have to get “geared up” before I get up in front of people, and I definitely crash afterwards. Being an introvert, it’s exceptionally draining for me. There’s typically a recovery period after a conference.

But I even with all this, I wouldn’t give it up. Speaking is awesome. It’s fun, it’s challenging and I think it’s one of the best skills someone can develop. If you go into it expect it to be all glory, however, you have got another thing coming. For one hour on stage, I typically spend about 20 hours preparing my slidedeck, and then another 5-10 practicing and refining it. but when it goes well, it’s all worth it.

And when it doesn’t go well, it’s worth it too. It’s a learning experience that will make me better at the next talk.